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20 January 2010 @ 01:26 am

I play the songs of sand and glass.

I'll wrap myself in them.

What use
Is there for sunlight, what do I care
For laughter and tears?

What is the husk? A shadow in a mirror.

I long for beauty
To the mere beholder.
23 October 2009 @ 05:19 am
The stars are waiting for me.

They have been for ages. Since I was a child, they've been calling out to me, and I've been eager to listen.

So it is no wonder that now I hold the acceptance letter to the astronaut program in my hand.
I'm going to the stars. I'm going to escape this hell-hole of a planet.

And you can rot here for all I care. 

This is an idea I have in mind. I want to make a short story out of it one day. It just lingered in my head for a while and I thought I'd write it down so it'll shut up. 

It's so annoying. I have tons of characters and half-broken storylines in mind. One is a fantasy setting but close to the real world, and the character is a little boy that everyone thinks is autistic. In reality, though, he has a telepathic connection to dragons and just doesn't care for this plane of existence.
Another, in a similar setting, is a digital artist with dyscalculus who discovers she has magic. I seem to love settings that are close to our world in terms of tech level but have magic.  
Another is a profoundly gifted computer science grad student who turns herself into a machine and has to give up the only love of her life. (I want to be her. Too bad her story doesn't work from a theoretical viewpoint, at least not the way I intended it to be.) 

The problem is, I never know how to write their stories down so they'll be interesting for anyone. If they're interesting at all, lol. 
Current Location: my desk
Current Mood: tiredtired
06 October 2009 @ 04:32 am
What was the best birthday gift you ever received? What made it so special?
I got a book with kitten pictures from my now-boyfriend.

What makes it special is that I went through a rough time back then, and whenever I was feeling bad he would look up kitten pictures on Google Images and send me the links on IRC. So it somehow reminds me of how he helped me get over something bad. It's cheesy, but yeah, it does.
18 September 2009 @ 08:41 pm
If a magic genie told you your calories wouldn't count for 24 hours, would it change what and how much you ate that day?
If you'd asked two years ago, yes.
Now, not so much. I broke up with my scales and my calorie charts since then. I do this wonderful thing called eating when I'm hungry, stopping when I'm full, and listening to myself to find out what I want to eat. I decide not to eat something because I don't feel like having it, I'm not hungry or I don't want to buy overpriced food, not because it has too many calories. So no, it wouldn't change anything.
18 September 2009 @ 12:30 pm
wheee, my health insurance is sorted out again :D

So they wrote me a letter a while ago that they noticed that I'm making too much money to be on my Dad's insurance and that I'm not insured anymore since March. (This was in summer.)
Yeah, thanks a bunch for alerting me of that in a timely manner... I'm just lucky I haven't been to the doctor's or had an accident, otherwise I'd be in for quite a bit of debt now.

And they finally processed the paperwork I sent in to apply for the student insurance thing they offer (which is rather cheap, too), and told me that I will get my card in the next couple weeks (it's a little chip card, just like an ATM card, with your insurance data on it - you use it when you go to the doctor's). Wheee. So that means I can go skating again, and if I hurt myself it won't be the end of the world. 

There's another piece of nasty paperwork that has to do with financial aid for families (basically families get that for every child they have until they have completed school/university/trade school or until they turn 26). They're complaining because I make too much money - AND I have to turn down a job I said I'd take, because if I do take it I'll have to pay back the financial aid money which is more than what I'll make there, which will make my professor who offered it to me really mad at me. But OTOH one job will be really enough next semester. I could quit the other one, though... but I don't really want to. It pays more.

Sometimes I hate living in Bureaucracy Land. Seriously. How come you can end up with LESS money working two jobs than working one as a student?

And when I grow rich, I'll hire someone to do that for me ;)
06 September 2009 @ 03:53 pm
When I'm Grown Up,
I'll have a house in the city
filled with bright light and lots of books.
I'll sit in the park and read.
I'll hang out with friends, drink coffee and eat cake,
but my happiest moments
will be in cyberspace.

I'll take walks in the woods
to think and enjoy the patterns
light paints with the leaves
I'll breathe the solitude of the trees
and the quiet fraternity of the forest

I'll be serene and happy
That I am sure of.
But maybe I will always be alone. 
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Apocalyptica - Relief
29 August 2009 @ 04:05 pm
So I'm pretty fit in the more theoretical and mathematical aspects of computer science, but I'm nowhere near a full-fledged admin, and I don't want to be. I can do what I need. When I can't do something I can learn it. But I'm inexperienced with most stuff that goes beyond administering my own box.

For my mother, I'm still the best she can get. So I'm pressured into playing the admin whenever I am there, because "who else should do it? And you study computer science, after all".

I have long given up explaining that computer science isn't really about fixing computers.

Well, yesterday I was supposed to configure their new DSL router. "New" isn't the right word, they've been paying for their DSL, and have had the router, since April without ever plugging it in because 'they can't do it, and the guy they wanted to do it didn't have time'. So I unpacked all that stuff, plugged it in, plugged the laptop in - great, I get an IP right away, so let's fire up the router config.
"I need your DSL login data. Account name, password and stuff."
"Your sister said it was on the router box". Extensive searching for a sticker with the needed data ensues, then, after her partner comes back, further searching for a letter from the ISP follows.
After two hours, she calls support. While I notice that her laptop is about as good at blackjack as I am, which probably means that I suck (I should probably not turn to gambling if I need money), she finds out that the login data has expired four weeks after they'd received the router, which means that even if we had found it, those two hours of searching were completely for the birds.

I wouldn't have wasted basically the entire afternoon if someone had picked up that handbook, put everything together and just entered the data using the STEP BY STEP wizard the router config program comes with.

I wonder why everyone is so afraid of technology. Why people can't just follow a manual. Why they think it's some kind of difficult, dangerous magic that only the initiated can handle. It's not.
So they call me so I can play the admin and do things they could have done themselves if they had read what's on the screen and looked at the manual - but they prefer to pay for DSL for four friggin' months without using it, or wait half a year for me to come visit before they get it fixed or so. I understand waiting a few days to delegate it, but not months.
Is that laziness, or plain stupidity, or something else entirely?

But hey, at least I got cake. And dishwater she calls coffee that comes out of those weird Senseo pad machines that seem to be a trend in my family. So I can't complain, huh?